comedic monologues for men

Is she so great, and I’m so small, that she can’t spare one little moment?…SHE’S LOOKING AT ME!! But if you are naughty and idle you shall sleep in the back kitchen amongst the black beetles, and be walloped by Mrs. Pearce with a broomstick. Lerner and Lowe’s beloved show follows two friends who stumble upon a mystic town that appears once every 100 years (ooh! Comedic monologue for men from the play Goodbye Charles by Gabriel Davis. If the King finds out that you are not a lady, the police will take you to the Tower of London, where your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls (Eliza looks up at him terrified) But if you are not found out, you shall have a present of seven-and-six to start life with as a lady in a shop. Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces, Comedic MonologuesMonologuesMonologues For Men. Popular


Go to, it is a plague I know the last shirt you got me was a small and still looked big on me. There may be seventy-six auditionees vying for a role, but only one will be cast! Enough; no more: ‘Tis not so sweet now as it was before. She’s not looking at me! ), “Well, kiddies, that’s what happened to Tommy today. Nerdy



I mean, whom has he really hurt? March 12, 2019, 11:42 am, by Is he the one I’ve waited for? […] You choose to live. No hero and a trunk full o’ sand?

This humorous confrontation is a light-hearted pick especially if you’re auditioning for the role of a young character.

If it’s a choice between that and helping you colonize space? February 15, 2019, 8:40 am, by That Cupid will impose for my neglect

He states his rules for their lessons in this memorable scene. Well, he had fun too.

“If music be the food of love, play on; Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die.

Berowne, a former cynic when it comes to romance, unexpectedly falls for a beautiful girl; this new revelation sparks the words below…, “And I, forsooth, in love! Can you imagine?
You’re a very crabby person. [… … …] So, one day […] you say “I love you” and you basically phrase it as a question, but they accept it as fact and then suddenly there she is standing in front of you in a three thousand dollar dress with tears in her eyes, and her nephew made the huppah, so what do you do? AND I SELL IT.

Always having to sit here alone. Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed, With two pitch balls stuck in her face for eyes. Now, let’s see: hero with treasure, very good. Practically no one is betting on the Derby this year; we are all making book on Lorraine. You know, if you believed as much as you think you do, you wouldn’t be.”, Over the years, the nameless Man In Chair has been played by many well-known actors.

eval(ez_write_tag([[468,60],'dailyactor_com-box-3','ezslot_11',107,'0','0'])); If you’re looking for an audition piece that’s comedic or dramatic, we’ve got some great monologues for men to choose from! I mean with someone else, I never sang a song with someone else before.

And the next thing you know your son is playing for money in a pinch back suit and listening to some big out of town jasper here to talk about horse race gamblin’.

From then on, one change led to another, and now you are all witnesses to the unhappy climax – she’s changed a white man into a black. Eliza, you are to stay here for the next six months learning how to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist shop.

But, what about his friend Jeff? I am 5’11! About all the famous people who’ve lived here, and all the incredible events that have happened right here on this planet. NOW, WHERE’S MY TREASURE?! If you’re looking for an audition piece that’s comedic or dramatic, we’ve got some great monologues for men to choose from! How can it when you don’t understand it? If that little red-headed girl is looking at me with this stupid bag over my head she must think I’m the biggest fool alive.

May 11, 2018, 12:20 pm. Not s’much. Like to see some stuck up jockey boy sitting on Dan-Patch? There’s no reason why I couldn’t just go over and sit there.

Here it comes.

SHE’S LOOKING AT ME!! Look at me. Since September, in her relentless pursuit of His Lordship, she has paused only to change girdles and check her oil. I would not marry her though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed. “Hmmm.

OMG If you’re good and do whatever you are told, you shall sleep in a proper bedroom, have lots to eat, and money to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis.

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She began to change whiskey into milk. “Don’t let her bedevil you, gentlemen.

At the end of six months you shall be taken to Buckingham Palace in a carriage, beautifully dressed. Is she saying “live while you can,” or “leave while you can”?

Under an assumed name he drank, I’ve just been informed by my butler, an entire pint bottle of my Perrier-Jouet, Brut, ’89; wine I was specially reserving for myself. As a stiff and stern educator, Higgins is out to make a lady of the wild and carefree Eliza Dolittle. Waking up and wondering if anyone would really miss me if I never got out of bed. Make your blood boil? Help ya cultivate horse sense, and cool head and a keen eye. At the age of two, she could talk with the skylarks, and decode the chirping of the crickets.



I think about all the incredible events that have happened that history never knew about. Who are you?” And one day you say it out loud…then it’s a trial separation and couples counseling and all your conversations are about her eating disorder and your Zoloft addiction, […] and the whole “relationship” ends on a particularly ugly note with your only copy of Gypsy spinning through the air and smashing against the living room wall.

Who would know better than me, her unhappy father, who found her on me doorstep, left by a fairy in the moonlight.

Do I look like a hobbit to you? I never sang a song before. Now go say goodbye to the little people and thank them for the picnic!…You’re confused aren’t ya boy?

But being watched that it may still go right! May 14, 2018, 10:02 am, by And I call that sloth, the first big step on the road to the depths of degreda- I say first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle. I’ll give you the inch. But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity to score in a balk line game, I say that any boob, can take and shove a ball in a pocket. At the age of four, she could blow a rainbow out of a bubble pipe, and then wear her pants out sliding down it.

Here you'll find all collections you've created before. If it’s a bit of dramatic flair you’re looking for, this might be your cup of tea. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. That’s the design of how that company makes that style shirt.

Orsino, a powerful nobleman, is the definition of lovesick. Kailey Hansen In this scene, a melancholy Charlie discusses why lunchtime is his least favorite part of the day. In this contemporary piece, Derek might have a bit of a “Napoleon complex.” Put your unique spin on his character with this unique monologue (available on monologueblogger.com) if you’re looking for something new and modern. A woman that is like a German clock, Do you have a knack for the dark side?

Your honor, whom has Max Bialystock wronged? Savannah Parker September 6, 2018, 12:17 pm, by LOVE, Hot how quick and fresh art thou, That, notwithstanding thy capacity Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there, Of what validity and pitch soe’er, But falls into abatement and low price, Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy That it alone is high fantastical.”.

“Juicy as a pomegranate. And, among three, to love the worst of all; Only s-s-six partridges, f-f-four grouse, and the D-D-Duke of Sutherland.”.

October 25, 2018, 9:50 am I distinctly told him so myself yesterday afternoon.”. In this minute-long monologue, he reenacts an overly theatrical conversation. Savannah Parker On the other hand…it’s very hard to breathe in here. This monologue from Professor Henry Higgins sums up ‘My Fair Lady’ in a nutshell.

And that’s exactly what you think when you’re standing at the altar, isn’t it, “Live” or “Leave” and you have to live. Combat the stress of sifting through scripts with Theatre Nerds’ comprehensive collection of comedic monologues for actors. Not a wholesome trottin race, no, but a race where they sit down right on the horse!

But still, in the larger sense, in a broader sense, it’s better to have lived than left, right?”. Nothing can ever seem to go right.

“Not v-v-very good shooting today, blast it.

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